Mission 15; Year's End. 3 Months in...

Greetings from us to you! Today my shipmate Vaughn and I have been taking inventory of the adventure so far. Lots to mull over as we sip on our ''08 single malt Similac. One thing is for certain. We are terrifyingly good looking. We hit our three month mark of our journey on the 29th. We can hardly believe how fast the time goes by. We are sure the parental types agree!

There's a lot of talk around the house about preparing for the coming year. The parents have been cleaning house and throwing out trash. Dad seems a little less glum now that he doesn't have to be crisp for Crispness time any more. Mom seems excited about the upcoming year and the new president's inauguration. (We promise that's going to be one to watch!) Dad keeps mentioning something about setting off explosives in the parking lot. We think he must be joking as that is simply crazy. Who blows things up? Honestly?

Apparently there is great sadness in the world as well, people arguing, people going hungry, culture clashes, and even people without homes. Let's try to take them into account as we progress forward. Perhaps I will cry for others suffering in the world now in addition to my own woes. Vaughn has offered to donate his share of formula, as he really wants to keep his svelte profile under control. I say he's crazy, and that the babes really dig the zaftig figure I currently sport. Who knows for sure? To the winner go the spoils! Sorry if our repertoire seems a bit callous, but hey, we're babies after all!

So we've been discussing resolutions. I asked Vaughn what he'd like make his resolution. He thought for a second and said "1200 dpi." I'm not going to try to shoot for anything that grandiose. I'm gonna just go with 300. It looks best in print, from what I understand.

To cap off the end of this year's journey we provide you with pictures of us at 3 months so you can see what makes us just so good!
Aloha, and Mahalo Nui Loa to everyone for taking us into your hearts and minds! See you in 2009!

Mission 14; High Tidings

What's up true believers, die-hard fans, and general people of high integrity. Today we are back to tell you about a cultural event we attended called the birthday party. This display of pure hedonism took place in honor of our friend the Pottery Barn Kids cover boy The Riley Gillespie's 2nd birthday. Quite an event. We were excited to see our celebrity friend again, but apparently at the age of two he has converted into a being of pure energy and was moving at the speed of light. I'm sure he was having a good time though. He received many gifts, as I understand is the ritual in such cases. It seemed like a fine time was had by all. So My shipmate and I decided to try to join in by singing our finest fightsongs, which I guess our parents took as a sign to leave the party. Ignorant wretches. The Riley! We wish you the very best in your next transcendental state! While on the topic of gifts, we have noticed of late that our parents seem very anxious about the subject of Crispness
We are unclear what this might be about since they tend to like their clothes wrinkled. They keep saying things like "what should we do about Crispness" and "I am afraid of Crispness, I want to hide under the covers." We are a bit confused, as nothing in this house seems very crisp, what with the humidity. This may be the reason that Mom has bought several new pairs of boxer shorts for Dad, and it could be why Dad hid that lovely sweater in that tissue paper, but who can be sure? All we know is that Crispness is a state of mind. We'd love to tell them that, but we don't want to interfere in a household drama that we find so entertaining.
So instead we will try to be like The Riley Gillespie and attempt to move faster than the speed of light.

Mission 13; Salad Days.

Look, we'll level with you. This hasn't been easy. I've had to gain a LOT of weight to keep up appearances, and my shipmate Vaughn hasn't been a slouch either. So you better understand, we're doing this for you.. You demanded more, and so here we are in our full glory. Hope you can appreciate what we go through to get you this kind of bleeding edge documentation.

Speaking of bleeding edges, those who have been keeping track (you know who you are, loyal readers!) will know that a second month has passed since we last wrote a full entry. It's true. We've been integrated into the family tribe for yet another month. What have we learned??

THE WORLD IS DANGEROUS! How dangerous you ask? Well so dangerous that the parents felt it prudent to hire a bodyguard a couple days a week for what seem to be the most dangerous hours of the those days. Everyone knows Mondays and Fridays are dangerous, right? Our parents say its so that they can "get things done" or "sleep", but we know the truth. We know how lazy these savages really are, and how easy it might be for them to leave the door open and have us consumed by wild animals, or possibly get so hungry that they accidentally eat us. Believe you me, with these cheeks, I know that Dad is eyeing me with more than affection in his mind. I know he's thinking how delicious I mig-but I digress.

The parents have hired a bodyguard named Sonda. Shes a friendly sort, who we estimate to be about 14 feet tall. At least as tall as Dad. she is very energetic and utters quaint colloquiallisms such as "y'all", "woohooo", and "Gators rule!" She refers to us as the "peanuts" which we figure is because like the wonderful shelled dicotyledon, twins often seem to be close to one another. Vaughn assures me it is not because she (like Dad) thinks we are delicious. He says that he has hypnotized her with his stunning good looks, and I am inclined to believe him. After all, he's gotten her to change his diaper on more than one occasion.

The other sign that the world is dangerous is that we made another visit to the Doctor. Once again, we were tricked into a false sense of security (Vaughn going so far as to show off his newly developed neck muscles) and we got the double whammy. A vaccination on each leg! The past is apparently riddled with diseases. We surmise that the full body latex suits really don't catch on until Prince Regent Obama the third comes into power...
What? Why are you looking at me like that Vaughn? Ohhh. Um. disregard the last sentence please. Here look at these pictures!

whew. That was close!