Thursday, April 16, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Mission 17: Sons of Invention.
I know you think we're pretty amazing. We know we do. We've been working really hard lately, what with entering the sixth month of our integration into this tribal society and all, it's been a busy time. We want you to know that though we care about each and every one of you, and your feelings regarding us, we cannot always be there for you. You see, we have been busy. Busy inventing.
What, you ask? What have those two daring travellers from beyond time been doing with their precious hours between daylight and dusk?
Well, for one thing we have been inventing the concept of teeth. While teeth may seem to be something that you see every day on the street, at the park, or on the floor, they don't just appear magically. These things take a great deal of time and energy to produce. We haven't had a breakthrough yet, but we're close. Alarmingly close.
I myself have been inventing a new type of scream which involves using my entire lung capacity, whereas my shipmate Vaughn has been inventing a new form of drool, so epic, so prolific, it can cover a square foot of fabric in minutes. Feel honored to be reading this. we are pioneers in our fields.
We have also been inventing sitting up, and brace yourselves; eating solids. Mind you, the solids are in the form of a soupy mixture of rice and formula, but hey, no teeth, remember?
Eating is a complex ritual that involves one or two of the parents sitting us down and preparing us food. We then utilize a complex tool called a spoon. I have watched, and it seems to be a rite of passage to graduate from spoon to another device called a fork. We will attempt to rise in the tribal hierarchy until we can use said instrument, but untill then we will have to make do with this spoon thing. It's a tricky device, involving physics and all kinds of other things probably too hard for you to understand. We have also been studying with great interest the way the parents masticate, using their jaw muscles in a ritualistic motion that enables large and tough pieces of food to be digested. We have been mimicking these motions, but the parents seem wary. Instead they have been giving us many strange things to practice these motions on, including various pieces of fabric, objects that have been chilled, and the occasional finger. It has been a busy time, but I believe we are both integrating, and ingratiating to the hosts.
Our trans-time digital image uploader is recharging, so please return later to see the current images we have captured in the name of history.
Oh! Also, we seem to have invented toes! I don't know if there's already a patent out on those, but they are pretty revolutionary.
What, you ask? What have those two daring travellers from beyond time been doing with their precious hours between daylight and dusk?
Well, for one thing we have been inventing the concept of teeth. While teeth may seem to be something that you see every day on the street, at the park, or on the floor, they don't just appear magically. These things take a great deal of time and energy to produce. We haven't had a breakthrough yet, but we're close. Alarmingly close.
I myself have been inventing a new type of scream which involves using my entire lung capacity, whereas my shipmate Vaughn has been inventing a new form of drool, so epic, so prolific, it can cover a square foot of fabric in minutes. Feel honored to be reading this. we are pioneers in our fields.
We have also been inventing sitting up, and brace yourselves; eating solids. Mind you, the solids are in the form of a soupy mixture of rice and formula, but hey, no teeth, remember?
Eating is a complex ritual that involves one or two of the parents sitting us down and preparing us food. We then utilize a complex tool called a spoon. I have watched, and it seems to be a rite of passage to graduate from spoon to another device called a fork. We will attempt to rise in the tribal hierarchy until we can use said instrument, but untill then we will have to make do with this spoon thing. It's a tricky device, involving physics and all kinds of other things probably too hard for you to understand. We have also been studying with great interest the way the parents masticate, using their jaw muscles in a ritualistic motion that enables large and tough pieces of food to be digested. We have been mimicking these motions, but the parents seem wary. Instead they have been giving us many strange things to practice these motions on, including various pieces of fabric, objects that have been chilled, and the occasional finger. It has been a busy time, but I believe we are both integrating, and ingratiating to the hosts.
Our trans-time digital image uploader is recharging, so please return later to see the current images we have captured in the name of history.
Oh! Also, we seem to have invented toes! I don't know if there's already a patent out on those, but they are pretty revolutionary.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
