Mission 18: Give it up for the ladies.

Shipmate Vaughn and I would like to give a shout out to all the fine ladies who made it possible for us to be here with you today. Of course we're talking about Mom, but we're also talking about the woman who made herself into a vessel for us to travel to the present and be with you. We're talking about Amy! Thank you Amy! Thank you Mom! You've done the world a great service!
Pat yourselves on the backs! Soon you will be receiving handmade pencil holders and cut out turkeys made from our hand imprints, but for now, here's the two of us, drool and diaper free! Doesn't that feel nice?

Mission 17 Addendum: (more pics)

A critical success has been achieved by shipmate Vaughn!

We have also moved on to bigger and more important things, such as carrots and butternut squash. These new flavors assault the very cores of our being!

Mission 17 Addendum: (the pics)

Mission 17: Sons of Invention.

I know you think we're pretty amazing. We know we do. We've been working really hard lately, what with entering the sixth month of our integration into this tribal society and all, it's been a busy time. We want you to know that though we care about each and every one of you, and your feelings regarding us, we cannot always be there for you. You see, we have been busy. Busy inventing.
What, you ask? What have those two daring travellers from beyond time been doing with their precious hours between daylight and dusk?
Well, for one thing we have been inventing the concept of teeth. While teeth may seem to be something that you see every day on the street, at the park, or on the floor, they don't just appear magically. These things take a great deal of time and energy to produce. We haven't had a breakthrough yet, but we're close. Alarmingly close.
I myself have been inventing a new type of scream which involves using my entire lung capacity, whereas my shipmate Vaughn has been inventing a new form of drool, so epic, so prolific, it can cover a square foot of fabric in minutes. Feel honored to be reading this. we are pioneers in our fields.
We have also been inventing sitting up, and brace yourselves; eating solids. Mind you, the solids are in the form of a soupy mixture of rice and formula, but hey, no teeth, remember?
Eating is a complex ritual that involves one or two of the parents sitting us down and preparing us food. We then utilize a complex tool called a spoon. I have watched, and it seems to be a rite of passage to graduate from spoon to another device called a fork. We will attempt to rise in the tribal hierarchy until we can use said instrument, but untill then we will have to make do with this spoon thing. It's a tricky device, involving physics and all kinds of other things probably too hard for you to understand. We have also been studying with great interest the way the parents masticate, using their jaw muscles in a ritualistic motion that enables large and tough pieces of food to be digested. We have been mimicking these motions, but the parents seem wary. Instead they have been giving us many strange things to practice these motions on, including various pieces of fabric, objects that have been chilled, and the occasional finger. It has been a busy time, but I believe we are both integrating, and ingratiating to the hosts.
Our trans-time digital image uploader is recharging, so please return later to see the current images we have captured in the name of history.
Oh! Also, we seem to have invented toes! I don't know if there's already a patent out on those, but they are pretty revolutionary.

Mission 11: The Big Freak Out

Hello again loyal readers! What is up? We are keeping it real like you couldn't believe. Today we participated in an ancient tribal ritual celebrated by the father figure in our tribal unit. It was called Halloween. It seemed pretty interesting, involving facepaint and body modifications, with a healthy dose of gourd mutilation, of which we are always in favor!

However, it appears Dad was too lazy/unmotivated/cheap to buy a gourd, so he used a persimmon. Whatever!

(Parents note: Happy 1st Anniversary, Gemma & Brian!)

It is important to note that we have reached one month in our research mission thus far. the Parents are extremely pleased that we have decided to hang out with them, and have arranged some meetings with various members of their tribe. So far none of them have smelled too bad, but we are convinced that the male named "Watanabe" has the ability to make Vaughn empty his bowels on command. I am cautious, but intrigued!

As we suspect is custom in such tribal inductions, the parents have received quite a few gifts from other member of their extended tribe. For this we can only thrive, and we thank you all! Great work everyone! Your efforts are not in vain!
to further thank you we submit some pictures of ourselves, as we know these are treasured more than many stocks at their current value.

zen styles

Frankenfish

Vaughn's thought of the day...

Yeah, you'd better run.

Mission 9: Physical Endurance Tests

As anyone from the future knows, the past hasn't always been wine and roses. My shipmate Vaughn and I were prepared to travel to a time where even the most basic hoverchairs did not exist yet. We knew that people went from one place to another using their legs What we weren't quite sure about, was when did the endurance training begin?




Yeah. That's right. It began the day after the second visit to the "Doctor". Mom and Dad woke us up at the evil hour of 12 in the afternoon to do these rude calisthenics they condescendingly refer to as "lying on the tummy". Make no mistake, the training was tough and long, and we worked hard to resist the mighty force known as gravity. Needless to say, we passed with flying colors. I figure that was enough of a demonstration to prove to the parents that we are capable and adaptive! Mission accomplished, right Mom and Dad?

Mission 5: The Motherlode!

"party time!"

Welcome back faithful readers! We duly apologize for the lack of our presence last post. These poor barbarians, you really have to admire their brevity in the face of things beyond their scope!
When last we left you we had endured the visit to the tribal shaman known as the Doctor. Since then we have experienced a visit from two tribal elders known as Aunty Joanie and Uncle Frank. These people were very interesting. The hosts treated them with great reverence, so we assume they must be the local authorities. They, of course noted our natural beauty and remarked on how fine we looked. They then chatted and shared lovely looking things called meatballs and croissants with the host people. It seemed like a fine time. We mostly stared at the wall and various sundry objects in the room.

Tonight we experienced something called a "dinner party", Hrm, perhaps that isn't the right term. Let me confer with Vaughn. It looks like the term I am supposed to use is the "get-together" This involved members of various social groupings and their respective young arriving at one tribal domicile (in this case it was the surrogate family household) and socializing over food and beverages. This act seems to be a good way to spread news, gossip, or germs. We spent most of the situation in a false stupor studying the tribal members interact. They of course thought our little ruse to be adorable and spent most of their time holding us and making scrunched up smiles at eachother.

The natives were nice enough, and we did meet another surrogate host of a time traveller who was really quite exciting. Her name was Ria. She seemed very hip to the idea of bringing visitors from the future to her time. She apparently plans to serve as a vessel once again in the near future. Kudos to her! The more of us here in the past the better outlook the future has! We know this for a fact! At any rate, we stayed beyond our designated research time (Observer Effect don't you know!) And voiced our disapproval with the hosts on the ride back to our temporary housing.

Regarding the temporary housing, the hosts seem very keen to return to a place they call "home" we are unclear what this could mean, for as far as we are aware, This land known as Colorado is the only place we know. This could be a clue to the behaviour of our hosts. Perhaps there is more to this. We will keep you posted.

Ah! I almost forgot! We have to thank our friend Amy the surrogate for not only the vital role she provided by bringing us to this time in history, but also for this amazing nutritious fluid we have termed "mother's milk". Those of you in the future may compare it to the "Mother's Milk"© made by Exxo-MacWalbucks & Noble. We drink this stuff as if our lives depended on it! after some careful study, My shipmate and I have come to believe that the highly addictive sports drink from the future is actually cloned human milk and caffeine. More research must be done!

Mission 2: Greet the Locals

This mission was astonishingly dangerous, as our diminutive scale put us in potential jeapoardy, should the locals become hungry. My shipmate and I narrowly escaped several attempts at cannibalism by the hairy one we nicknamed "Dad". Notice how his Cro-magnon brow nearly covers his entire face! Astounding that we are descended from humanoids such as these! The females of course were easily transfixed by our obvious good looks.

Mission 1: Enter the new world.

GREETINGS
As all of our loyal fanbase in the 21st century already know, My shipmate Vaughn and I, Jax Roster, made an gallant attempt to travel into the past. We arrived early, as our scheduled date of arrival was October 6, 2008 A.D. There was some sort of strange paradox with the spacetime continuum(so what else is new, am I right?) and we arrived on the date 29 September, 2008. Our scheduled and appointed meeting with our unsuspecting hosts ended up happening anyway through no mean circumstance.
Vaughn and I are still amazed how these creatures are able to travel from one dwelling to another without teleportation!
We began our journey using a futuristic, and complex method known as Surrogacy where the genetic material of our descendents is transplanted into the womb of a willing and able volunteer, who then carries the fertilized material for almost four dozen weeks! Mind boggling, I know, but it's really the best way to travel through time!
As I said previously, the creatures we were supposed to make contact with were still in transit when we arrived at the correct time and place, so we spent some time entertaining and studying our attractive and demure womb host and her compassionate mate. they seemed strangely used to our method of travel. Perhaps they have already participated in this phenomenon of surrogacy!?! ASTOUNDING!